The really, truly True Believer™ of the Month Award March 2011

Child Abuse figured heavily in this month’s polling results for the award.

As usual when it appears the Vatican figured high in the polls. This month’s claim from their Top Exorcist is that the increase in child sex abuse and rape claims is the fault of Satan waging war on the Holy See. The rest of us who are not exorcists think the increase in claims is because raping children is illegal and it is a good thing to report crimes.

The excuse for child molestation being related to Satan was beaten in the polls this month however by this month’s winner. The winner Brent Girouex claimed that having sex with teenage boys was his duty as a Pastor to clear their minds of evil thoughts, which he claimed could be achieved through ejaculation. Why he too was required to orgasm during these sessions, instead of his impure patients, therefore is as yet unexplained.

Conveniently for him it appears such thoughts quickly come back, and repeated…. therapy…. was required…. with numbers like 50 to 100 being mentioned. His victims must have the cleanest souls in America.

One thing is clear from both of these stories however. When people get caught using religion to get laid, they will avoid admitting their perversions and guilt in every way possible, from blaming the invisible actions of Satan, to claiming they were just cleaning their victims souls in the eyes of their personal god.